Few men wished to fly like you, bird; so they invented parachutes, gliders, hot air balloons, choppers and planes. And a few wanted to be like you, fish; so they learnt to swim and floated on boats and ships. You guys- pigs, cows, dogs etc. pee, shit, drool here and there and so I thought why shouldn't I? You throw the wastes on the spot where you eat. I thought, why shouldn't I? After all, I belong to one of the most intelligent species on Earth. I don't want to lag behind, so have I defeated you here. I do what all you creatures do. When I fight they compare me to you, it feels so great! I am both civilized and uncivilized!
I am a great patriot too, and it shows when India wins a match; I burn crackers so much that the streets get decorated with the colorful cracker wrappers for days. I don't know why few fellow living beings, men, around me are obsessed with cleanliness. They don't know the meaning of freedom. They don't want to be number-1 in everything; they are so dumb, they sometimes let you take over the place. I sometimes looking at them, get affected unknowingly and behave like an OCPD patient. I clean my neighborhood and city. Shout slogans of cleanliness, spread awareness of it and when I completely become alright, the ambitious me is back on track in the hidden competition of littering.
In this era of competition I do compete with my fellows too, for that seat in college or for that job. I have lost to many, many a times. But in littering I haven't lost even once, neither to you nor to them, and never will, it is the only place where I can definitely win. Off course I have tough times; I have to survive those brain washes, speeches on cleanliness. But I overcome them and ultimately emerge as 'The Great Indian Litterbug', every time. But I am afraid, I may come out of the competition permanently some time; never know when my brain gets washed, goes out of my control completely. I have to find an alternate solution, a tablet or syrup or some exercises to maintain stability and be in control. I swear I will not let you or anyone be No-1. I am the Great Indian Litterbug and will ever strive and remain. I even try hard to set unbreakable records and so practice regularly. My next aim is to become the great litter bug in the world and make my country number-1 filthy country in the world. This will be my little contribution to my dear nation. Wish me luck Guys. I need your support and blessings, men here don't like my job and are constantly trying to pull my leg.
Linking this to Indiblogger's 'The Great Indian Litterbug' for http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/.