Thursday, March 12, 2015

Self-esteem

               Those were the days when I was in hostel while pursuing my graduation. I was very friendly with almost all of my batch mates. I would roam around in the hostel, to their  rooms...giggling, chatting. They were good with me too. But I always had a feeling that not all of them truly considered me a friend. They were nice off-course, but I could sense few were simply with me for they needed me for some reason.
          When in third year of graduation, our annual theory exams had got over and we all had to prepare for our practical exams. We used to visit hospitals for perfecting our skills of examining the patients and diagnosing. So, we all left from the hostel to our institute's hospital and our instructor was demonstrating the various methods of finding the signs of the disease in the patients admitted, later we were supposed to visit few more hospitals, a group of them left from the place without informing the three of us, me and my other two batch-mates. They had gone to the civil hospital to learn to examine more patients with different diseases. When we looked around, we understood that they didn't want us to go with them and so had slowly vacated the place one by one. We all really felt bad, but one of my friends even after repeatedly insisting that we all should be by ourselves from then on wards, said that we should be with them to learn,no matter what. So we all three took the bus to the civil hospital. We saw them coming out as soon as we reached there. Looking at their faces I felt very awkward and stood uneasily beside the chairs at the entrance. My other friend sat on the waiting chair at the entrance beside one of the other girls and tried to enquire what all patients they had examined, but without responding properly she moved with the others who didn't even look at us. Then my other friend too understood the situation completely and we all three unanimously decided that we all will be by ourselves then onwards.
         They behaved in a friendly manner, nicknamed me 'a little girl' spent time merrily but they were no true friends. The retrospective me after taking a keen look at my past stopped talking to them. They tried many a times, but I kept mum and tried to be indifferent  whenever they came face to face in the hostel corridor or in college. Later I forgave them for what they had done, but kept them at arms length. I knew, again they would misuse me for their own benefits as I did not know to say 'no'  many a times, to anything they said. 
          I had sobered down as I felt I had to leave my childishness behind, and be more responsible. Thus a new beginning of my life started. We all three did very well in our practical exams, in fact much better than them. Sad, but two of them from the other group, the ones who took initiative of such a heinous move failed in the practical exams of those particular subjects. The new me was more concerned about my studies and myself. 

                


Linking This To :  Start A New Life

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